Theory: If a pet is sick and finds a need to vomit, the vomit will always end up on carpet as opposed to the hardwoods or tile that make up a majority of the house.
In addition, the newer the carpet, the more quantity of vomit can be expected.
Finally, the said pet may go to the [...]
So this morning, on my already heavily-congested commute in to the office, some douche bag with a stick up it came swerving in to my lane. But this was no ordinary douche bag with a stick up it, this was a douche bag with a stick up it pulling a ghetto wooden “trailer” with no [...]
Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. YOU try entertaining parents for three weeks while also moving across the planet and let me know how that goes.
We’ve started selling our stuff which is both good (yay, money!) and bad (boo, sleeping on the floor!). But in the process of selling, I am starting to [...]
Ok, I don’t really hate it. The National Anthem still gives me chills. I love the instant gratification, and the my way, any time, any day part is great.
But I do hate the cop that pulled me over this morning and gave me a $190 speeding ticket.
$190! Isn’t that a little excessive??
I will admit I [...]
Does anyone else come up with really great blog topics at night, right on the verge of sleepytime, and then forget it by morning? Last night I had two or three really profound and witty topics just bouncing around in my head. Is my memory THAT bad that I can’t even remember something for 12 [...]
My wise father-in-law once said, “House guests are like fish. They start to really stink after a few days.”
Of course, he said that while we were staying with him. I didn’t read anything into it at the time, but HELLO! Seems pretty obvious to me what was going on there.
Anyway, 20/21-year old boy house guests [...]
So, an update on yesterday’s post, where my major Christmas order was canceled due to “high risk.” A little background: Yes, I am in Germany for a temporary assignment. I have a U.S. permanent address and U.S. credit cards and a U.S. phone number. I still pay U.S. taxes.
I wrote them back, saying:
Hello,
Could [...]
So, I finished all of my Christmas shopping last night and gave myself a big ol’ pat on the back for my success. (Note: I say finished *my* shopping because I still only shop for “my” side of the family and Travis does his side. I know we’ve been married five years and I should [...]
I think someone snuck in and replaced this Tuesday with a Monday because it’s totally behaving like a Monday. And Tuesday, I’m sick of you. It’s only 10 a.m. and you need a big ass spanking.
First of all, I woke up at 6:11 with my alarm (am I the only one who sets the alarm [...]
So there was this one time, I must have been in high school, I had Chick-Fil-A and then went to a girlfriend’s to spend the night. And in typical high school slumber party fashion, we stayed up all night. Not because it was a slumber party. Because I had food poisoning.
Awful. Both ends. Had to [...]
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