Ok friends and family, remember five years ago when Travis and I got married? And that gift *insert name of bowl, vase, dish, dildo here* was most generous and certainly from the bottoms of your heart. And I wrote thank-you notes to every single one of you.
Now forget it. Because we no longer have that *bowl, vase, dish, dildo* and need a new one. Because before we moved to Germany we sold off everything we own. Every. single. nice. new. wedding. thing.
Except the homemade padded wedding photo album from my step-mother-in-law. (Not that I didn’t try.)
So I’ve decided I’m going to do a wedding registry V2.0 to see what loot I can rake in to replace all of my stuff that I sold for pennies at a garage sale two years ago.
Do I need to divorce and then re-marry Travis in order to get you to buy into this scheme?
